VLOG: Free Your Self From Ego & Pride ( Pride Caused By Ego )

Sep 22, 2012 by

Ego

 

Hello My Lovies,

I have a Vlog for you today :), I subtitled the whole thing but I also would like to write about this a little more. Miguel aka the camera man aka my hubby is in Vegas on his vacation, in Cirque they have vacation every several months and the poor thing finally got a break he so deserved!

And now I would like to say a few words in addition to the Vlog:

If you’ve been following my blog for a while you know that I am a big believer that Fitness is not only about how good we look or feel, because looking and feeling good is not gonna get you anywhere if your inner world doesn’t match your appearance. We always have to work on our selves from the inside first, then our beauty will shine through on it’s own. If you are really young, these words might sound very boring and not have a lot of meaning, but trust me as you grow older, you will understand the meaning of these words clear as crystal.

A lot of people are very physical, everyone is obsessed with stuff, fashion, appearance, fame etc, not very many work on things that matter the most. But the truth is, we cannot ever find peace and true confidence if we don’t bring the both of our worlds into harmony, our inner and our outer. This is the true beauty.

I believe that one of the very important and just a beautiful quality any human being can have is the capability to be humble and modest, and so many people now days seem to be polishing their crown.

Sometimes I would put on a TV and watch some of the celebrities and how they talk to people, how ignorant and rude they are to their fans. These celebrities seem to be forgetting that people, their dear fans made them who they are, this just makes me shake my head. You know why some people are like that? Because their Ego and Pride is controlling them, these people actually believe that they are better than others, pretty ridiculous isn’t it? I personally believe that in this world we are all equal, nobody is better than anyone else, a persons looks or status or money doesn’t make them better than somebody who doesn’t have those things, we are all equal and we are all here on earth to learn how to love and help each other.

Most people’s ego & pride is in control of them, this makes me very sad, because people by nature are all good, but their Pride makes their inner world rotten. Do you know how we can get rid of pride from our heads and hearts? By nurturing love and kindness in our hearts at all times instead.

The more we work on our inner world, the more beautiful we will become on the outside, with that we can inspire other people around us to be the same, we cannot change people but we can inspire them, because positivity is contagious. This is how we can change the world.

Working on our selves from the inside, is Fitness for your inner world, and this is what I want Loving Fit to be, more than just a place where we work on our physical bodies, but a place where we work on our inner body as well.

Hugs,

Tati

Now here is the video πŸ™‚

 

 

UPDATE:

My darlings,

What I am referring to in the video is Pride caused by Ego. Β Just wanted to make this clear, I don’t think that I express my self clearly at times. Β It is OK and it’s good be proud of things, and love your self. Β I’m gonna work on expressing my self better.

 

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  • Jos

    Love listening you speaking Russian..sounds so classy..the only word I know was “Diablo” as the Devil.. πŸ˜€ Amazing post, Tati and I for one also do feel sometimes I have a bit too much pride that I think I should deserve better in my job..but with this post/vlog I should re-evaluate myself a bit πŸ™‚ Have a great weekend and hopefully you won’t be too lonely with your hubby is away. Btw why didn’t he take you to go with for his vacay? πŸ˜€

    • Thank you sweetie :), I think it’s important to be thankful for what we currently have, even if it’s very little, because when we are the Universe rewards us.

      I couldn’t go with my hubby cause I have to work, I had so much to do this week and I got it almost done. Plus I don’t think I can leave on vacation cause I would go crazy without checking the comments and wondering what you guys are up to. Besides for the comments here I also wake up to about 30-50 from youtube, and If I leave they pile up and I like to respond to everyone as much as I can.

      Have a great weekend Jos!

      • It would upset me to think that due to this site, you’ve decided not to vacation with your hubby. With the continued popularity of this site, you need to strike a balance with work on this site and your personal life. It’s nice that you want to reply to every post, but that might not be possible or even the best thing in the long run. So dear, be aware that you could very easily get stuck in trying to do too much .<3

        • Thank you so much sweetie,

          You guys are all so sweet and kind to me, I’ve been trying to take a little more rest lately, today I took a day off ( almost ), it brings me a lot of pleasure to communicate with you guys and come up with ideas. Ever since I started this site it has become my baby, and I can’t seem to stop working, vacations don’t bring me as much pleasure as work does, I usually try to take a complete day off 1 day a week, and even on that day my mind won’t stop working with workout ideas. To see this site come alive with you’re guys help, I can’t ask for anything more.

  • ??????, ?? ??? ????? ????????!
    ????????? ???? ?? ????, ??????? ?? ??????! ?? ?????? ???????!!! =***

    • Ekaterina spasibo bolshoe za poddergku πŸ™‚

  • Naomi

    I totally agree with your message in the text, Tati! However, watching the video I felt a bit uneasy by your bombastic statement of pride being an illness and the worst quality you can have. I know you meant no personal harm to anyone, but it got me thinking why I reacted this way. The reason I felt this way is because for a long time I never had any pride in who I was and where I came from – and it took some time to appreciate myself for who I am. I was thinking that maybe others will react to your video like me, so I’d like to point out there is a difference between healthy pride and unhealthy pride..! Just like there is healthy narcisissm and unhealthy narcisissm. A little bit is good for you – it helps us appreciate who we are and builds a healthy belief in our own capability. However, too much of anything is like poison for us. It is difficult to say when we cross over from healthy to unhealthy, but I think awareness is crucial in being able to stop this process before we go to far. Just my two cents! πŸ™‚

    • Hi sweetie,

      I don’t always express my self easily, but I was talking about the narcissism and ego. There is nothing wrong in loving our selves, that is very healthy, but what I meant by illness is that some people think that they are better than others by the thing they have and treat people with disrespect by looking down on others. That was the pride I was referring too.

      • Naomi

        Tati, I think you express yourself wonderfully! However, sometimes people use concepts in different ways and I wanted to word my uneasiness in case anyone else felt the same. Sometimes it is easy to react a little bit over the top because one does not take the time to sort through ones feelings. I guess this was my way of taking the fuse out of any such reaction, though I highly doubt it will come. πŸ™‚

        • I totally saw where you were coming from girlie, you’re reaction was actually very calm and I like how you expressed your self and your feelings.

    • tee_w

      I agree with you naomi, I kind of had the same reaction as you, but for me it’s just the word pride means something different to me. I think pride in yourself and in others is really important, but to me what she is referring to is ego. exactly what she is describing to me is ego, and I wholeheartly agree with that. I watched my son who struggled greatly with all his schooling walk across that stage and get his diploma and my heart was practically busting with pride because I knew what he went through there and he did it, and no one could tell me that that pride was bad. unfortunately he was not proud, he was just glad to be done, but because of his treatment there he did not feel the pride he should have. but now if he or I thought he was better than someone who didn’t make it then that would have been bad and ego

      • Hi tee & Naomi,
        Pride itself it not the problem. Personally, I differentiate between having pride and being prideful. Being prideful, I think is completely ego centered.

  • Thank you Sherri,

    I think we are all special))

  • Lattara

    I completely agree with everything you said! I started realising this couple of years ago, when I first read Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now. It’s a wonderful book, I recommend it to everyone. I especially like that he doesn’t offer a recipe for a change or specific steps to do in order to achieve your happiness and get to know yourself, but rather just points out the things he experienced and what our ego does to our being..
    Spiritual health is so important, because the state of our spiritual health determines the state of our physical as well as psychological health and the way we are to others and most importantly to ourselves. How can we love others and be good to them if we cannot do that with ourselves?
    Thanks Tatianna for this post. If you have some book to offer please do so! πŸ™‚

    • Golden words girl!!!! That’s exactly what I always say, I heard about this book for a while now, I’m gonna read it, I love books like that. You are absolutely right, there is no steps to achieve happiness, it’s all about our own realization.

      • Lattara

        Wow, I’m always amazed how quickly you reply to our comments, and how you ALWAYS do so!! That’s amazing! πŸ™‚

        • I always try, but lately it’s been very hard to answer all the comments, and I noticed I’ve missed quite a few. If I ever don’t reply, remind me :), cause some comments get lost, it’s Disqus System and sometimes not all the comments go through.

          • Lattara

            That’s fine, there’s so many comments every day, it’s still great that you’re trying to reply everyone. The effort is what counts! πŸ™‚

  • Evaleen

    Wise words Tatianna. And that is so true, that even the proud types repel each other… I’ve left online communities before, because myself and many others were tired of all the ego wars going on. The atmosphere was so aggressive and unwelcoming… such a shame.

    And to me, the worst kind of pride (and most dangerous) is the self-righteous kind… that sense of moral superiority that leads some to believe that they’re justified in mistreating those “lower” than themselves. To call an individual out on their mistakes and holding them accountable is one thing, but taking that much further– to the point of ridicule and personal degradation– this is supposed to be “superior” behavior??? I also often wonder, what if that were family, a friend, or someone they loved? Surely they’d hope to see some compassion for them… but then, how can you ask for something you’re not willing to give yourself?

    I know that kind of veers off into a different subject, but I do believe that pride and ego is at the root of most (if not all) negative behavior. Especially with self-righteousness, it’s the easiest “free ticket” we can get to act negatively and immaturely… to insult and demean, making sure the “bad guys” get what they deserve. But that’s just returning one bad thing for another, and perpetuating everything that’s WRONG with the world! It angers me so much honestly that this is the example people set, but I know that’s also self-destructive and serves nothing. Only thing anyone can do, is to be the change they wish to see… forget pride, forget about being “right”– choose to be a human being instead.

    • Evaleen,

      I just love love love reading your comments, me and you think exactly alike! I completely agree ego is always at the root of most or all negative behavior, if only everyone understood that, imagine how life can be.

      • Evaleen

        It really would be something. πŸ™‚ And that’s part of why I wish others would be less scornful… cause what are the chances that someone may genuinely change, if they’ve been treated as not even worth redeeming.

        Btw, wanted to wish your husband a great time on his vacation! πŸ™‚ And I had thought about this the other day, felt a bit guilty as all his efforts are “behind the scenes” (so easier to overlook) but I wanted to give Miguel a huge thanks as well for helping to bring us this beautiful site! Great work from a team effort. πŸ™‚

        • Ahh honey you are so wise and so sweet, thank you I will let him know :). He is coming back on Monday and of course I am putting him to work as soon as he lands πŸ™‚ He He

          Want to film a new upper body workout and a recipe :).

        • daybelis garcia

          Omg evaleen Iol I totally agree with you. Miguel should be thanked like tatianna it’s amazing all he does for us being the scenes.

  • Thank you for sharing Tati,

    I always appreciate everything you post about inner world, universe, inner beauty,
    being grateful, visualization, everything related.
    It helps me.

    Referring to pride I think I agree with you, I also agree when you mention this
    rich, famous people. I totally see what you are talking about, it only makes me ignore them,
    feel kind of sad for the fans, because they really admire someone (for whatever reason) and then
    they get those kind of responses.

    I also see all the ego when I read some comments in social networks (twitter, facebook) making fun of fat people, making fun of ugly people, showing themselves better just because they work out, so they are better than an obese person.
    They do not say this because they want to help otherΒ΄s move and get a healthy life, they say these kind of comments because it makes them feel better than the rest. And they keep on making fun of it.. I do not see any point. And then… it seems like they said something marvelous because these people get so popular, suddenly followed by other people with the same thoughts. :/

    *sigh*

    • Thank you Mily,

      Yes, I try to spread the positive message of the inner world, it’s much needed in our times. I see so many people with such low self esteem because they focus so much on the outside, and the media doesn’t help either, I want everyone to know that we are all beautiful, and if we focus on seeing our beauty instead of trying to fix what’s we think is wrong with us, then everyone will be happy. Someday I know the world will change it’s perspective, but it will take a lot of work.

      • I agree, and yes it is going to take a lot of work, but we have to start somewhere πŸ™‚

  • daybelis garcia

    I love love love this vlog Hun. I completely agree with you. Since I was a child, my mom raised me to believe in humility and to never be too prideful , but insteadto be grateful. Having so much ego totatllytakes away from your personality because in reality nobody is perfect and preaching that you are seems very fake to me. This is one of the many reasons why I love your blog because you admit to not being perfect and recognize your faults. In life working on our imperfections and striving to be a better version of OURSELF is a bliss. You look beautiful in this video love, your eyes have such a nice color and your hair is growing:))). I also want to take this chance to thank your husband for all he does…. I think he should be recognized because without him we can’t see you lol. Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

    • Thank you honey for your kind words, you are always so good to me. I am having a good Sunday, just finished writing Monday Mingle post while having my coffee :))))

      We are definitely not perfect, nobody is, not even Angels, we can always thrive to be the better version of our selves and work on our inner world, which in turn will shine to the outer world.

  • oceansoul

    Very well said, Tati. Even though I guess I am still young at the age of 23, I couldn’t agree more. Whenever I spend some time in the mountains I wish all that stuff like career, money etc (as naive as this sounds now in black and white) would not be necessary and that I could simply spend my life up there. To be there is enough for me, no fancy clothes or anything needed, just to know I can be outside the next day enjoy the nature, animals and the moment, at times something to eat πŸ˜‰ – that’s all it takes.
    Reading your post I thought of all the times I made my happiness depended of someone else in some way. During the last years I (hopefully) have learnt to depend mostly on myself whenever I do not feel that well and not let it out on others or drag them along into my mysery. I see those problems often in my family and friends and try to make them see at least a little, that you can do so much for yourself without needing anyone. Goes without saying of course you need people in your life and I am not speaking of being alone; just to take care of yourself and make yourself as happy as possible and therefore so much stronger. This appearance will affect all the important people around you in my opinion.

    • Wow, you are very very mature for your age. You know, I love going to nature, because not only nature charges us with energy, but it makes us realize things, things that are truly important, it makes us see the world for how beautiful it truly is.

  • Yes, it will be a long way for humanity to change, we just have to stay positive and lead by example.

  • Maundrelle

    thank you Tatianna for your wise words.

    I grew up with very little confidence and self-esteem. And on top of that, I was told that proud people are bad people. So I had no confidence, and I was scared to have any confidence because I thought that would mean I would be proud.

    I have to say that at first your words made me a bit uncomfortable. Because I sensed some judgement in your voice. But that was only my ego, thinking that it was being judged, and judging back in return. I told myself, that in order to learn the lesson of this negative emotion, I really had to listen to what you were saying, and keep watching.

    And I’m so glad I did. I’m not the same person I was when I was a teenager and through my early adulthood. I’ve completely changed my life. But everyday, awesome people like you, come around and completely show me a new direction. I could tell from the words you were saying how much love and confidence you have, and that is something SO admirable that I just have to tell you how much I appreciate you as a person.

    Thank you for being here, Tatianna!! Lots of love and blessings to you. =)

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, I was coming from a loving place when I made this video, I do sometimes have a hard time expressing my self clearly, not only on video but in real life, and some people can get offended, I have to work on expressing my self better, cause my husband tells me that I sometimes come off the wrong way, even though I don’t mean any harm at all only love πŸ™‚

  • Alenka

    Dear Tati, I think that people who look at world through eyes of pride, are those who lost their sense of humility.
    I think that most, if not all, of people’s ability to see the difference in these two (more or less clearly), lies within their heritage, the way their thinking was shaped by for example when everybody was telling someone since little, that they are special no matter what. Yet, there is more ways to understand this little statement. Logically I have never seen 2 persons who are 100% alike = means we are all unique, I can easily agree on that.
    But what if I was brought up in such way, that the thought alone of being special would never ever even cross my mind? Then it would sound/feel unbelievably unnatural, corny, big-headed, yucky, coming from myself especially (and it DOES feel that way). Actually, that thought would just never happen in that way. If I ever think of “special person”, it would always! be about somebody else, never about my own self. I was simply raised this way. With that comes the “issue” of loving self and so on. I was not brought up to think such way, at all. It would be just as strange of thought, as it was at long time ago to think that people may be able to fly one day. It simply was not there. If I ever said something like that out loud, Gosh, I do not want to imagine the faces of those who would hear me. They would think and likely also say, that I must be crazy, and they would seriously be concerned about my well-being. Most of all, they would be repulsed and disgusted, and if a single person there ever thought that I was indeed special, they would think that no more.
    I can never feel special, I can only hope to to live/feel/think/ … in such way that other people may consider me kind of special. But it is not quality I should judge about me. My idea of special in person lies within their heart, combined with humility. If there is no humility, there is pride. Pride does not make people special. Is there anything, really, big enough to even be proud of out loud? I would say no, because no one is perfect, and does not need to be, therefore there is always room to grow and be better.
    That is just my opinion, or my upbringing really, and may be hard to comprehend to somebody, and that is ok. We did not choose how we were brought up. But for me, I would rather think nothing of myself for the rest of my life, that think even tiny bit too much of myself. If I am “nothing”, I have whole life to try to become better. If I am already special, I will be bored and likely boring as well for the rest of my life, and very likely – lonely too.
    I hope I did not offend anybody, it was not my intention. It is just that now I live in society where tables are turned in different way, where everybody thinks they are special. It is just as hard to me to understand that, as it is to those folks to imagine my way of thinking. So I was trying to bring a little light into discussion by explaining that we did not really choose our way of looking at this particular topic. As children we all were given same base picture to fill to color in as life goes on, but were were given slightly different base colors to use. πŸ™‚ That’s all πŸ™‚
    Hope you all have a wonderful day.

    • Hi Alenka :),

      It was very very interesting to read your comment, we are all definitely different in our upbringing, I was brought up very similarly as you were so I understand exactly what you are saying.

      I think as we grow up, we have to learn to explore the world on our own terms and learn new things aside from how we were raised, I’ve leaned so much from other people and other cultures and I always stay open minded about everything, that way I can keep on learning.

    • I like your note. And I think I and many people would agree with you, although semantics may get in the way. But something that is really interesting that you mention is you perceiving someone else vs. how we see ourselves. Those two activities can never be the same. We see people and if we are awed and moved by them in some way, we want to be like them. But if we try to elicit that emotion in people, it rings false. The only thing that rings true is being ourselves and being truthful.

      I guess this is on my mind because I just saw a play tonight, and being someone who performs, this comes up a lot. It never feels the same when you’re on stage as it does in the audience, but being in the audience, you want to be up on stage (or I do) moving people like I’m being moved. But if you try to be what you think of as sexy, charming, funny, etc., rather than being in the moment and truthful to the moment and yourself, then it comes off as false. It’s kind of like you need to detach from the need to be whatever it is you want to be in order to be it, or like you’re saying, in order to truly be special, you can’t feel or act special–you can only be YOU, and hopefully others will see you as special.

      I don’t know if that makes sense to you or anyone else, but basically what I’m saying is–I resonate with what you’re saying. Although I feel that the ability to feel special about oneself can be very useful in certain circumstances, but again, I think semantics and wording are getting in the way. πŸ™‚ Have a great night!

      • Hey girlie,

        Thank you so much for your thoughts, I do understand exactly what you are saying. It’s definitely healthy for us to feel special about our selves in certain circumstances, I just didn’t do a good job at expressing that in the video, it definitely taught me a lesson, cause I did offend a couple of people with my words, but I meant no harm at all.

        By the way, the picture, omg the picture! Gosh I love this picture so much cause I get a rise out of it every single time I see it!

        • I don’t think you were lacking in your explanation at all! I just think that “pride” has come to think different things than it used to. Anyway, I’m so glad you like the picture!!! I can’t stop laughing either! I’ll change it soon, but it is so funny to me. As someone who grew up Catholic and going to church and seeing pictures like this of Jesus, and also the seriousness of the ritual and ceremony and mass, etc. etc., that this defamation to me is SOOOO hilarious!

      • Alenka

        That is very interesting observation, I think you make a lot of sense. Being true self, should just about make one special right there. One is special, if those around him/her feel/ think they are special. If he/she becomes to agree with them deep inside, and ! stays humble about himself still, then that is just awesome. So yes, in a sense, there is nothing wrong with thinking special of self, even thought still, to me personally, it will always stay more like a wish/hope, than a fact.
        Interestingly, definition of “special” is different to each one of us, yet the resulting feeling in all of us, when realizing one is special, is probably very similar: warm, trusting, as you pointed out – inspiring, – just to name a few.
        Also, I am not saying that the special person is flawless (getting tired of repeating the word…lol). Nobody is and thats is an important key. Except, I find it much easier to accept flaws as a part of that kind of person.
        If there is someone special to me, I admire him/her in a way for having a qualities I would like to/ hope to have, “the heart in the right place” being #1 quality, — to me.
        I am not saying all this as true for everyone, but just kind of thinking to myself how I feel about the topic. So I hope to not offend anybody πŸ™‚ This a great topic.

    • Naomi

      I really like your thoughts; I think in some ways it also sheds a light on the difference of thinking in Eastern versus Western societies. In the East the focus is very much on what you can do as part of the society, your life does not center around what you do for yourself, but what you do for your parents, your family, your community. In the West the focus is very much on individualism; making your own destiny and so on, being successful. The healthy approach would be somewhere in the middle. Also, I agree that we should all regard ourself as special in some way, we are unique. But in the end we are all just pieces of flesh in the universe.

      • Alenka

        Your explanation of difference between different societies made my morning brighter, but I can not quite put it in words why. I guess, to me, it is rare to see someone to even care to think about such, because to most people there is no reason to. So thank you πŸ™‚ And yes, in the end none of that matters, we are “just” humans, sort of here on borrowed time, trying to make it through our journey, all in our own (and hopefully – best) way.

  • I don’t think fame or being famous is to blame for horrid behaviour from “celebrities”. I’ve see non famous people behave and treat others in the most appalling manners. A mean person is sometime still doing to be a mean person even with money or fame. For me, I try to pratice mindfulness in my actions; and in my interaction with people.
    Jon Kabat-Zinn is a great author to read if anyone is interested in mindfulness pratice. A favourite for me is his book “Wherever you go there you are.”

    • I completely agree with you Lvette, not only famous people can act like that, I’ve met plenty of regular people who do as well. I had to stop being friends with few girls in my life because of their disrespect towards others, as much as I tried set a good example some people just don’t want to change.

      I will definitely check out Jon Kabat-Zinn book, thank you for sharing girl.

    • i LOVE that book! <3

  • Alenka

    Open-minded is the key word. Back on pride, pride has very closed mind, and eyes. πŸ™‚

  • I’ve been ‘digesting’ this message for a few days because it hits on so many cords. It’s interesting as well to read the other comments and to consider other perspectives.
    I could tell in the video you were talking about the difference between self-worth and ego-centered pride. And it was interesting to see so many coming to the defence of pride. I too value humility as one of the best qualities in a person – and I think it can reside peacefully with a healthy sense of self-worth. The trouble is, many people hypnotized by the veil of physical reality and a media that upholds very narrow views of success and beauty. We accept a belief system that is not ours, but that was created to sell us stuff!
    I also feel compelled to come to the defence of the ego because it’s something I’ve been doing a little studying on lately. The ego was never designed to define our value or put other people down. It’s a necessary tool that helps us navigate a world of duality. It helps us discern our preferences from the contrast we see around us. In this way, it helps us create our own unique perspectives of reality.
    The problem happens when when the ego is asked to take on a role it was never created for and that is to support a belief system that says appearance = value or fame=value or wealth=value. I believe it’s the belief systems that need to be addressed, not getting rid of the poor ego. πŸ™‚
    I also agree that the best way to combat the problem is to live the solution. Be kind to others, see people’s intrinsic value and try not to get caught up in appearances.
    That’s my two cents! Thanks for bringing up this important topic!

    • Very well stated. The ego has an image problem, its duality of the apollonian and the dionysian is not very well accepted.

    • Dheana,

      You’ve read my message so perfectly clear with your words “We accept a belief system that is not ours, but that was created to sell us stuff! ” That’s exactly what I was trying to say, but sometimes I have trouble expressing my self clearly. As I was reading your comment I was thinking, that’s what I needed to add to this video! Thank you for your words of wisdom!

  • IVETA

    spasiboza video,mne ochen ponravilos,vi prosto super!!!!!!!!!!!!