Following Your Dreams, Practicality and Making Others Happy ( questions from a reader )

Jul 22, 2013 by

Buddha Quote 27

Photo Credit

 

Happy Monday my Sweeties!

Sending all of you lot’s of love and positive energy to fill your week with beauty and light!  This week I have something different for you guys, I had a comment the other day, here on the blog and it was a very interesting set of questions that I would love to answer. I wanted to answer in the comment section at first, but then I decided to make a post about this, because I believe it could help someone else as well. Here is the actual comment, I will go through each question separately and then answer it from my perspective:

My father has been trying to guide me towards a medical career for years. I think I could go for it since I love teeth and helping people, but it’s not really my passion. I’m a huge fan of writing and I must say that your writing is incredible! Your words always come from your heart! I have a few questions:
How does practicality fit with following your dreams? Practicality would dictate that one must choose the path that everyone else is choosing. The path of money, financial security, perks, etc.. But is it possible to completely follow your dreams without following the practical choice? I would love to be a writer, but practically speaking I would struggle for a long time and my books may not sell well to cover my financial needs.

I feel if the premise of financial security were to be abandoned by job seekers, then more people would be happier. Could you completely abandon the flow that society dictates to you? Because society is currently dictating that financial health is more important than following your dreams. High Unemployment, higher taxes, doubts over America’s financial security, increased inflation, and previously lucrative careers slumping are different waves drifting people towards the flow of money such as my father.
I’ve been thinking that perhaps I could go for the medical field and still have time to write. I’ve been thinking about become a dentist since that would allow me for more time to dedicate to writing. That way I could satisfy my dad and myself. But that would take me 6-7 years out of writing.

But like you said, you feel stifled. I’ve never been a fan of following the structures laid down by society. I feel that would be compromising my beliefs in order to satisfy my parents who largely follow the flow. My father’s greatest dream is to see me a doctor. But I would rather see myself as a procrastinating dreamer:)

Thanks for reading all of this! Have a wonderful day!

 

I’m gonna start with one question at at time.

 

  • My father has been trying to guide me towards a medical career for years. I think I could go for it since I love teeth and helping people, but it’s not really my passion.

 

Ask your self a question: Will it make you happy and will it bring you joy to get up each morning and do this career for the rest of your life? If you hesitate to answer, then there is your answer.  Our life, is about finding our joy and do what makes us happy. Don’t try to make others happy, it is their life and this is yours. We are not here to please others, we are the creators of our life, we are here to give rise to things we desire, to tell apart from things we want and things we do not.  This desire has to come from within our selves. In reality we call life, each of us is our own real guide, we have an inner life compass that will always lead us where we need to be, listen to it, and you will always be on the right path.

 

  • How does practicality fit with following your dreams? Practicality would dictate that one must choose the path that everyone else is choosing. The path of money, financial security, perks, etc.. But is it possible to completely follow your dreams without following the practical choice?  I would love to be a writer, but practically speaking I would struggle for a long time and my books may not sell well to cover my financial needs.

 

First thing that I would like to say and is what I always say: Each and everyone of our realities is only a production of our own thoughts and beliefs. If you can see it in your mind you WILL hold it in your hands. I’m living this reality every single day of my life, now it has became almost instant, where before I usually had some kid of time delay.
Now, if you take a closer look around at all of the people who are living the life that they only dreamed of before and now it’s their reality, most of them had one thing in common, they believed in them selves when everyone else made fun of them and told them it’s impossible to do what they wish. As you already know, because I talk about it all the time, is that in this Universe, our reality operates by it’s biggest law, The Law Of Attraction. The Universe, cannot tell apart good from bad, it can only see what you focus on the most, therefore what you focus on the most must be what you want.  So, if your belief and your focus revolves around this belief:

 

“I would love to be a writer, but practically speaking I would struggle for a long time and my books may not sell well to cover my financial needs.”

 

What you are telling the Universe what to do and what to become, therefore it must appear in your reality to confirm that belief.
Who told you that you would struggle? I think this belief was imposed onto you by someone else who probably struggled because of their own fears and beliefs, which were imposed upon them by someone else as well. So, most society is stuck in a struggle in beliefs that do not serve them in a positive way, it’s like a rat race.

 

Now, how do you change this?

 

You begin focusing on your desires, on the actual goals, not on the obstacles around them or what could be or might be. We do not need to know “THE HOW” where’re gonna get there, that is not our job ( because our only job here on earth is to give rise to desires ), our job is to know what it is we desire and FOCUS IS OUR TOOL. If you are able to keep at least 80-90% of your focus on the things you want instead of the things you fear or think might happen, you will be amazed how fast thing will start moving forward for you ( I speak from personal experience and memories of this message I was born with ). It will all look like a coincidence but trust me ( actually trust your self ) , it’s never a coincidence. You will begin meting the right people, things will just start appearing out of nowhere. You will begin to get ideas, inspiration and random events that will just keep looking like an accident, but it’s the Law Of Attraction that I speak of, in action. You become the magnet of everything you focus on.

 

Since you’ve been living with the old beliefs for so long, it will be weird for you in the beginning when you start changing the pattern of your thoughts. So, start out with something small, something that will be believable enough to your current state of mind, and then slowly you can create bigger and bigger things. Everything is possible, absolutely, the only limits you have are the limits of your own mind. And if someone tries to come between you and your goals, smile and walk away.

 

  • Could you completely abandon the flow that society dictates to you? Because society is currently dictating that financial health is more important than following your dreams. High Unemployment, higher taxes, doubts over America’s financial security, increased inflation, and previously lucrative careers slumping are different waves drifting people towards the flow of money such as my father.

 

I really love this quote:

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. ~Gandhi

I believe that society nowadays has created an army of robots, people who control the system don’t want happy people, because happy people are awakened people, they will not obey. Instead they want people who will follow they system without questioning, people who are hard workers who would earn them more money. But, this system is beginning to fail more and more each day, because more and more people are beginning to Wake-Up so to speak and realize what their true existence is, and what life is all about, which is happiness and joy in doing what they love, because they love it not because they have to. But for now, we don’t have to completely abandon the system, some parts of it are beneficial to us. I believe we should become part of in someways and change it from the inside.

I think the most free people are those who work for them selves, such as writers ( hint hint ), artist, or people who have their own business, people who don’t work for big corporations. There is a very awesome book about this called ” Rich Dad Poor Dad “, pretty much it teaches you how to make your money work for you, instead of you working for your money. People who make 96% of the money, know how to make their money work for them, not the other way around.

 

  • I’ve been thinking that perhaps I could go for the medical field and still have time to write. I’ve been thinking about become a dentist since that would allow me for more time to dedicate to writing. That way I could satisfy my dad and myself. But that would take me 6-7 years out of writing.

 

If you want to do that because it will make you feel better and more secure in the beginning ( because of your current beliefs ) you can definitely do that, but do that only because of YOUR SELF, but not to please your dad.  The happiness of others doesn’t depend on US, it depends on them. If we live our lives trying to satisfy the dreams our parents have for us then we are not living our life we are living their, which scratches out all purpose of our own existence, we are denying our selves the freedom which we deserve, we are born with this right.

 

  • But like you said, you feel stifled. I’ve never been a fan of following the structures laid down by society.  I feel that would be compromising my beliefs in order to satisfy my parents who largely follow the flow.  My father’s greatest dream is to see me a doctor. But I would rather see myself as a procrastinating dreamer:)

 

It’s because you seem to be a part of the new generation, I believe the new generation will break through the old structures and change them, this is why we’ve chosen to be here at this time. Follow your heart, your parents might not approve right away, but if you follow their dreams instead of your own you will resist your own life flow, the one you had planned for your self, and that will make you unhappy, resistance it self will make you struggle, until you get into the flow.  Listen to your inner guidance, believe me it’s not your imagination as most of us like to say, that inner guidance is you, your self from a higher all seeing perspective which will lead you to your dreams.  And who do you think knows you better than you know your self ;)?

 

Have a wonderful week my Lovies,

Love,

Tati

 

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  • Gerri Lee Schafer

    hahahahahaha……………..first……………will read in the am lovely lady :))

    • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Lv Girlie

      Second…got to workout, then I’ll read later.

    • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Tatianna

      I’m 5th :)))

  • Cassidy Croskey

    I always end up reading posts of yours that resonate with me in that particular moment. I’m sort of in the same position as the reader whose question you answered, and I couldn’t have hoped for advice any more pure. I’ve been keeping your words on living positively and striving for happiness in mind, and I can honestly say I’ve never felt more at peace. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. :) <3

    • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Tatianna

      Thank you for your support, I love to spread positivity :)

  • Lili Suke

    Tati, I am really enjoying these Monday talks. It seems like it is perfectly matching my life situation and I can read the answers here for my own questions. I am also reading the book from Teal Scott and it all starts to make more sense now and more and more I can apply it to my own life :) Thank you and please keep on these posts :)))

    • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Tatianna

      I’m very happy that I can help :)

  • Marie- T. Heigl

    Your posts help me so much, honestly. They’re matching exactly into my life

  • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Lv Girlie

    This was a nice read this morning…thanks Tati for the post.

    I think the concept of the “law of attraction” needs to be demystified from it spiritual connotations sometimes. The notion of the “law of attraction” have merit also in cognitive behavioural therapy (a good book on this is “feeling good: the new mood therapy” by David D. Burns.) I personally think we tend to focus on the spiritual aspects to the detriment of the practical application. It take more than just putting an intentions out there in the universal or more than simply believing…the hard work of getting that goal /intention needs to be there too, for example in the case of financial stability…basic financial principles needs to be adhere to…live according to your means and mostly according to your needs.
    Living crazily and spending more than you can afford just because you feel your intention for financial security is now out in the universe and money is coming your way is tantamount to playing roulette or the lottery. Putting out one wish into the universe as per the ” law of attraction” is great…it becomes a visualization tool…your working toward it is the “magic tool” in the toolbox of the law of attraction. The action to get to that goal becomes the attraction…wishfully, wishing for any kind of success, be it financial, weight loss, etc without any action on your part is a waste of the law of attraction.
    The law of attraction is a great principle to change the mindset…genuine positive thinking. Once that mind is change, I think actions is required…positive action towards achieving the goal….it is about changing beliefs and thoughts patterns The law of attraction for me is a motivational tool in believing in myself, maintaining a ready mind and to gain confidence and follow with self discipline. Most importantly, the law of attraction has nothing to do with hyper-materialism, it has nothing to do with getting gains and doing nothing…not doing something to fulfill your goal is lying to the self…which I feel is pseudo and bad spiritualism.

    • oberlee

      Good response, Lv! You’re right–it can be as woo-woo as you like or as un-woo-woo as you like–it’s still, actually, very practical advice. I personally think action itself is arbitrary–the intention behind it needs to be there. That is, if your thoughts are truly making you feel good about what you want, then actions will follow that have good consequences. But doing half-assed actions aren’t good either, I don’t think. However, that won’t ever be the case IF you are truly in the right frame of mind, where you will only do things that feel in line with your goal. I like to get my frame of mind right first and not force myself into actions that feel too scary (meaning, having no sense of confidence to match the fear) or undesirable. Then once I have my mojo right, I often will set off on a flurry of actions without even thinking about it, which is GREAT. However, I also notice more opportunities come up for me once I get my thoughts straight.

      One of my biggest motivators is looking at people that I admire. They all have some similar qualities: gratitude, graciousness, no sense of entitlement, a sense of the bigger picture outside of themselves, a certain confidence…these are just a few, but they fit into the same mindset I aspire to have. That is, you kind of have to not want or need these things you want to the degree that it takes control of you and your self worth. You have to love yourself no matter what…and that’s a pretty awesome goal in itself. And whether it’s the universe matching you and bringing things to you (for the record, I do have this belief) or just the fact that people read your confidence in your self-worth and find it attractive enough to date you, hire you, etc., who knows? But no matter which way you look at it, it DOES start with your thoughts, and I think that’s pretty awesome. It means you can control your happiness. :D

      • http://www.lovingfit.com/ Lv Girlie

        I totally agree with everything you wrote…part of getting your thought straight is action…the intention is action. For those people that find the spirituality aspect harder to accept…I think knowing that cognitive thinking/behaviour is another way to view it.

  • HarderBetterFasterStronger

    i love everything about this site! this was a great read. i just discovered you recently (i used to follow zuzka light) and i have to say going through all your old posts really inspires me! i am the sort of person who is very “stop/start” and im currently in the stop part of my workout routine and it really upsets me:( i gained like 5kgs (not all at once, just gradually). it’s not the weight that really bothers me though it’s just that im no longer as lean as i used to be (i mean im not skinny but i had the beginnings of slightly defined muscles and a flat-ish tummy) anyway it’s time i stop feeling sorry for myself and thinking about what once was and focus on the now. based on the info on your site i *think* i can consider myself an intermediate and so i decided on this plan. let me know if it is something you would recommend for me to do.

    Mondays: light cardio+interval
    Tuesdays: light cardio+lower body
    Wednesdays: light cardio+interval
    Thursdays: light cardio+upper body
    Fridays: light cardio+interval
    Saturdays: total body stretching
    Sundays: active rest/light cardio

    (warmup/cool down before and after each)

    PS i wanna maximise fat loss cuz i have a high percentage of fat ESPECIALLY on my legs. my waist in comparison is quite small. i tend to gain weight on my arms, bust, and legs. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this absurdly long post!

  • saandy99

    Thank-you so much for writing this! I felt that we were having a conversation and you were the older sister doling out much needed advice! If you don’t mind, I’m going try and answer this like a conversation to what you said.

    If I woke up every day, I doubt I would feel that happy to go to my job as a dentist. I moderately like that profession. As I said before, I like teeth and I wouldn’t mind talking to people about their brushing habits:) It would be interesting to create my own business. But the job really doesn’t lend itself much excitement and you cannot really change the world by telling someone they need to brush more. I’m hesitating so I’m sure that I don’t really want to be a dentist. Dentistry is more or less a compromise between my parents views and my own.

    The Law of Attraction is fascinating. Now that I think of it, it makes a lot of sense. If one focuses on their studies, then they will do good at school. If you focus on one thing with a great deal of attention, then good things will come out of that. If I focus more on writing by actually writing out all my stories instead of leaving them as outlines, then I could grow as a writer. I actually have dreams of me actually publishing a book after writing out one of my outlines. So if I focus more on writing, I would be able to do more mundane tasks such as homework without procrastinating because of the promise of writing. But if you focus on one thing, would other things have to slide? I take a lot of challenging classes, but I could stop procrastinating on studying if I had the focus of writing. I used to use that technique before entering high school when I would take care of my studies first before dedicating the rest of my time to a book or two that i was interested in. Is that what you meant by time delay? Procrastination? If you have focus in your life on something, your life has a whole new meaning and that could delay depression. I was incredibly depressed two years ago before I discovered the world of fitness, but it was mainly caused by the idea that y life really didn’t have much meaning and I stopped caring about many things. This article just erupted this well of self realization I never realized until now!

    My father is the one who has said that I would struggle. He always wanted to be a doctor but his parents were too poor. My father has made fun of my aspirations to be a writer and has even gone so far as throwing away little stories I used to write in elementary school declaring them as “a waste of time”. He’s convinced that because of the economy, the medical field is the only safe option for anyone. Following what society told him to do ruined his life but he still thinks it’s right. Making a lot of money is very important for him and dreamers never seem to make any money. He hates his job, but he does it for the money. My mother was an english teacher, but she’s very disillusioned about life through my father convincing her that she needed a medical career. She believes that one should be what one wants to be, and has supported my writing. But the downside is that because I’m good at math and science, she has been siding with my father for me to become a doctor recently.

    You’re correct. I only worry about the obstacles instead of just sitting down and writing things. I’ve been breaking away from my parents on many things especially their way of thinking, but there’s still the fear society puts into you that writers always struggle and are penniless. I will start to just focus on writing and not what problems that may ensue.

    For the small thing, I’ll start to do homework and then reward myself by writing. I’ve been enjoying break a bit too much and neglecting everything else. I’ll set plans for the things that I would like to have done and then the reward of writing from an outline.

    I’ll give that book a try. If you want your money to work for you, then you could support your craft through money. I could potentially fund my writing through dentistry.

    Although my dad wants me to go to the medical field, it was always primarily as a physician. He was totally surprised when I said dentist but I only said that because I noticed how dentists barely do anything. That’s not really a good reason of studying something:) I’m still not sure what career I’d like to choose. I’m definitely majoring in communications with a minor in creative writing for sure.

    For the new generation: A lot of friends my age have the same problem. They have no idea what they would like to do and they’ve been hearing from society about how bad some careers are going. It seems that many people are going towards the STEM categories. People who are terrible at math and science and have passions in other areas are going for STEM careers because of what society and their parents tell them. Or they’re in for the large salary. I used to want to be a lawyer for the longest time before i heard about the drop in job market for them as well as my father passive aggressively criticizing the profession. I’ve had mock trial experience from school enough to realize that i don’t want to be a lawyer. But I had to really experience it myself to figure it out. And I only figured that out this year.

    I’m pretty sure my inner guidance would not want me to be a doctor. But it’s lazy enough to be a dentist and do writing part time. Sometimes I do have moments of passion for dentistry. That’s when I hear of all the unnecessary things dentists push their patients into in order to get more money. Braces (except if truly needed and wanted by the patient), wisdom teeth removal, and their incredibly expensive whitening kits are not always needed but they push it all the time. I would love to be that one dentist who breaks the mold and tells my patients the truth: if they want to get their wisdom teeth removed, they can. But they don’t need to. And I would love to have a little playground inside there as well as a daycare service in that same complex for the employees. I wouldn’t have to compromise my belief system and prescribe medicine all the time in order to get paid more.

    But then, I would rather be a struggling writer. You’re right. I’m trying to compromise between what my parents want and what I want. I don’t think I’m anywhere near your level of self actualization. I really admire that!

    Thank-you so much for making a blog post about my questions! Now I just need to change my life:) I would love to use every adjective in the world possible to express my gratitude to you for all that you do. But none of the adjectives would suffice even if I used every dictionary in the world in every different language. If you don’t mind, I would love to keep you posted on everything and keep asking questions. Again, thank-you very much! You’ve impacted my life in a positive way and I couldn’t be happier that I found your site!

  • Karmalife

    I just wanted to thank you once again, Tati, for inspiring me. I read this and it was JUST what I needed to snap out of the funk I’ve been in for the last month or two. I have been depressed, irritable, angry and convinced that I was going crazy. I kept focusing on how sick I’ve been feeling emotionally and despite the countless LAW OF ATTRACTION books I have on my bookshelf, the countless Abraham Hicks cds I’ve listened to and despite all of the information I’ve been learing about LOA since 2008, somehow I forgot that I was creating my reality. Silly me! I had literally made myself sick by thinking about nothing other than how miserable I was. It was a vicious cycle.

    I read this post, literally got off my bike (I was doing some cardio) and grabbed my favorite LOA book (Jack Canfield’s Key to Living the Law of Attraction) and started re-reading for probably the 6th or 7th time. My mood changed instantly, that day, and I haven’t been the same since. I mean instantly. I went from having bad day after bad day to living with intent and purpose, light and happiness. I can’t explain it but I wanted to thank YOU for reminding me once again.

    Oh, and that’s my 2nd favorite Gandhi quote! I was actually thinking of getting a bumper sticker. I already have “Be the Change you wish to see in the World…”

  • Kane

    Thank you always for the inspiration – it is a very important of my daily life, even if I do not say it every day.