Learning To See The Good

Apr 5, 2011 by

Good

Learning To See The Good

 

We are always very critical of our selves.   Most of us have a really hard time to just stand back and seeing the whole picture  of  Beauty that we really posses.  Instead of seeing and loving the good, we pick our selves apart in the chase of perfection.  The sad reality of that is very real for many people.
There is nothing wrong with trying to improve and be the best we can be,   but when we pick at our selves so much, our flaws become our illusions. They hold our mind hostage. We get trapped by our insecurities. Because we focus on our flaws instead of embracing our beauty.

The other day I was watching TV and I saw this show about people who were addicted to loosing weight. And no matter how much weight they lost, they still felt fat.  When the producer asked them a question, ” How much weight do you have to loose to finally be happy?” - all of them had the same answer ” When I reach perfection “. This was just an example, there are other things we pick at besides of our outer shell.

What I learned in my life, is that people who are considered by masses as to be the most beautiful, are the people who are the most insecure as well.

One of my friends told me a long time ago, ” When I stand up close to the mirror, I always find something wrong with me, now I just step away from the mirror and look at the whole picture, and I love my self more than ever”.  At that time, all I could think of was, how far would I have to stand? Don’t fall off your chair laughing.   But that is exactly what I thought.   In my head I was thinking, why would I want to stand back, when I can change things up close.  I believed there will come a day, and I will not find anything wrong with me, if I only do this or that, I will be perfect.
As the time went on and things got better, I kept finding other things to add to my list.   I was pretty much obsessed with everything that I felt was wrong with me and my life. I just didn’t understand what it meant to step back.   I couldn’t focus on my good qualities because I just couldn’t let go of the bad one’s.   I also use to say this ridiculous quote all the time – ” There is no such thing as being Too Blond, Too Tan, or Too Skinny!” .   I didn’t appreciate the beauty of my light skin, the color of my dark blond hair or the muscle tone I had on my legs.  I went tanning every day so I can somehow perfect that unrealistic looking color to my skin, I bleached the hell out of my hair and I was trying to do everything I could to loose the muscle tone off my legs, so I could have the skinny chicken legs of my dreams.   And I thought I was doing a pretty good job at getting to my destination.

All of my friends were telling me that I was starting to look like a freaky cartoon.   I thought they were crazy, because all I saw was the image up close.  It was not as perfect as I thought I can be, but it was as close as I ever thought I got.

My wake up call came when one of my friends took a picture of me, and  pictures always reveal things about our selves that we can’t see with the naked eye.  I was shocked at what I saw, the girl staring back at me in that picture didn’t look like the perfection I imagined.   My skin was orange, my hair looked a ridiculous color of white, and the rest of me looked like a walking skeleton.  Slowly but painfully I opened my eyes.

It didn’t happen over night of course, but if I tell you the whole story you will get super bored reading it.   I stopped tanning ( which totally ruined my skin),  I stopped bleaching my hair since it began to fall out,  and I finally started stepping back, to find me who I lost.

Many years had passed since then.  I slowly started to see the things I never did before.  I finally learned to love the color of my skin, now I can’t even imagine  laying  in a tanning bed.   I started seeing my self  for who I really was.   Stepping back  and looking at a whole picture healed me in many different ways.   I just wish I could of done that earlier and saved my skin from the damage that I put it through ( with that I am still having my pity party from time to time ).

Learn to see the good and you will find perfect. Imperfections make us see our beauty.

Because we are all a beautiful imperfection.

What do you think?

Tatianna

PS – Check out all the Archives from My Diary

You might also like ” Real Beauty Is Artistry – Originality”

 

 


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  • ashlie

    “Perfection is imperfect; and imperfect is itself” from one of my favorite books Tao te Ching

    • http://www.lovingfit.com Tatianna

      I totally agree!!!  Sometimes I see those people on TV who get plastic surgery trying to become perfect, and no matter how much they get they keep finding other things wrong with them.  I find imperfections to be beautiful!

  • Mariasole Verdi

    we tend to see ourself imperfect, its only in our mind cause people dont see in ouself the imperfections we see.

    • http://www.lovingfit.com Tatianna

      Yeah I agree, I also think others are a reflection of our selves.  Sometimes when we look at others and find imperfections it’s just a reflection of what we think about our selves. 

  • Alenka

    I used to have this weird belief, that looking certain way, the way that was worshiped by world around me, would grant me something I did not have. Self-confidence, but most of all, true love. Ironically, I think I had no idea about what such love would look/feel like.
    That kind of safe love should allow me to finally believe, I was good enough to deserve this unconditional love. In reality, I was trying to find love for my inner self by using my exterior self. Wonder why that could not work, lol.
    When I got as close to that what I considered lovable “me”, I was sick inside out, not far from dying mentally, and physically too. Somewhere there I have realized that by my looks I was attracting the exact opposite attention than I was looking for, – superior, based on the physical, and also pitiful by others.
    I started to consider remarks from other about me looking sick, and recognizing to myself my bony mirror reflections. I had to reconsider, where was I to find that love I was missing so bad… it was a long process, I am still on the way, but now I know, that the closer I get to appreciating my own self, and body, the better chance I have to find love for self, and from significant other. Unconditional part to it should come from being adored when I am myself, plain, happy or mood, cute, or fussy, skinny or overweight, healthy or sick…
    Ideally I will love myself in such way one day too. it is a progress just to even know this, and know that I am not a bad mean person, for example. I want to look and be healthy. These realizations helped me to cope with many years of eating disorders, I still fall here and there, but dont make huge big deal out of it, just trust myself to get back up, and let go of my trap of perfectionism.
    Sorry, this is a bit more personal than I meant, but… after all it’s true and it may help someone thake a step forward. :)
    Great post, TY Sweetie.

    • http://www.lovingfit.com Tatianna

      I love what you wrote, your words really touched me… Learning to love our self and accept our selves comes with time as we grow older, it’s an every day thing, I think everyone of us has to deal with it in one way or other, I think it’s very important to love our selves first on the inside, then we can find love from others.

  • Alenka

    Thank you. I can’t help but agree.Time can be our “enemy”, but also the very best friend.